Apart from this, I’ve had a very hard time committing to something that I truly want to pursue and make something of. Basically, it’s a method of generating an income for myself that offers huge potential, is entirely legal, and would allow me to truly “live”. The problems is that, for some reason, I seem to push myself away from actually doing. I find that I am extremely bad at taking steps towards my goals and instead I talk my self down and think about what could be if I were to put my heart into this. It’s a vicious mental cycle that starts with a lack of confidence in myself and telling myself that it won’t happen which then turns into me seeing it as an impossible dream that really isn’t worth my time or effort. It’s like I am at a mental block of some sort. Deep down, I don’t believe in myself and as a result I am unmotivated to take action.

In my last post I talked about the subconscious and how powerful it is. This is something that I think also plays a role in my current state of mind concerning my goals. So basically, I have the majority of my mind working against what I truly want and it’s up to me in order to make things right. The problem is that my confidence level is nothing to write home about and I’ve always been extremely hard on myself. Internal conflict sucks! Just had to get this out into writing because it’s something that’s been bothering me for quite some time and was really bothersome today. I still need to work on this site a whole lot more but I’m not going to make any promises as to what I’ll be getting done and when I’ll be doing it. Like the title suggests, I’ve been having trouble committing to things that help me. Go figure…

I’ve come to the realization that this is something I tend to struggle with. I’ve realized that I have a very particular goal set for myself which is anything but normal but offers huge rewards, and that I regularly think in a way that keeps me from working towards success. All of this thinking and realizing has led me to even more thinking, and even more realizing. I’ve garnered a new appreciation for the subconscious mind and the influence it has on our conscious thinking and ultimately our true potential. As a sufferer of anxiety and depression, I realize the power of the mind and the sheer influence it can have on our lives. It is because of this that I am interested in trying to learn more and take control of my subconscious thinking.

Conscious thinking is something that we can grasp in a way. You might think to yourself, “I need to go to the store and pick up some bread” (a pretty damn dull example, I know), and then you’ll go ahead and do what you thought. This type of thinking is something that we can realize because it is something that we are actively participating in and controlling. However, the subconscious level of thinking is hidden to us. And the crazy part about this is that our subconscious mind, while hidden to us, plays a major role in our conscious mind. Our subconscious will  remember a past failure  and when we are faced with a situation attached to that failure, our subconscious mind will inherently pass on feelings of negativity to our conscious level of thinking. This, to me, is extremely interesting.

The fact that our subconscious level of thinking plays such a large role in our conscious level of thinking really makes me want to investigate ways of maintaining more control over my subconscious. Anyhow, that all I really wanted to say as it’s been on my mind for the past few hours and I wanted to put something up on this blog. I’m feeling a ball of emotions right now (angst, anxiety, and a little depression/feeling overwhelmed) which is why I’m not fleshing this post out (need to work on my subconscious!).

Hopefully, the topic of this post (or at least some of what I’m about to talk about) will be easy to relate to if you suffer from anxiety, especially if your anxiety is at a more chronic level. If it is at a chronic level, please don’t give up! Keep on persisting to try and deal with your anxiety and make it more manageable. It can be done. Believe me, I know exactly what it is like to feel so unbearably anxious/socially anxious to the point where it literally takes over all mental and physical function. It sucks. It fucking sucks. Please, though, do not give up on making things better for yourself. I’m not exactly sure as to why I felt it necessary to express my feelings for you anxiety sufferers out there – the urge to include my sentiment came over me and I just had to do it.

Anyhow, the reason why this post might be very relatable to those with anxiety is because it is a very specific scenario that I think anyone with general anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, or any other anxiety related disorder has experienced. But enough of talking about what I’ll be talking about. Let’s get down to (I wish I could think of something other than business to say)…business.

Bright Lighting…Anxiety…Depersonalization

Just imagine how the following scenario would feel and try to visualize any discomfort you might experience. I may be alone in my reactions to this type of scenario but I’d like to get some input from anyone with anxiety who is reading this.

You’re walking along and minding your own business – you might be deep in thought, or thinking about how hungry you are, or trying to get a damn annoying song out of your head. Overall, you are at a pretty comfortable level in terms of any anxiety or discomfort. You might even go so far as saying that you feel content with your immediate situation. After some walking, you arrive at a door and subsequently open that door. Upon entering this door you are confronted with around 8 people who you don’t know very well. You’ve seen these people before, more than a few times, but your relationship with them is very limited. It isn’t as though you’ve just been shoved into a room surrounded by 8 people making for a very awkward situation. But, you still aren’t very comfortable enough to start talking to anyone of these people and strike up conversation.

Here comes the fun part. You are now forced to participate in a physical activity with these people. The physical activity will have you matched up one on one with another person, so things are rather personal. You then start to notice that the lighting of the room is bright, unnecessarily bright. It’s so bright that it’s hard to not to take notice every 5 five seconds and take into account how it is too bright. Also, the room you are in is filled with 6 more other people and all of them are moving around and causing a high level of noise. Some people are being obnoxiously loud and are filling the room with noise as equally as obnoxious. And as all of this is going on, you need to interact with the person you have been matched with one on one and maintain a certain level of social intelligence.

This is the basic premise of what I experienced today and it really go to me in terms of making me feel uncomfortable, anxious, and experience depersonalization. The reason why I felt this way was because I tend to get over stimulated in situations where there is a lot going on or a situation that is requiring an excessive amount of attention from one of my senses. As an introvert, someone who is highly sensitive to the world around me, and someone who deals with anxiety, over stimulation (mainly the bright lights in the situation above) is pretty much a nightmare for me.

Really bright lights are something that usually does it for me when it comes to making me feel uncomfortable and “out of it” from over stimulation. Here is a list of some of the things I experience when over stimulation gets to me:

• I feel out of it
• Depersonalization
• I feel on edge
• I find it very hard to interact with people
• Expressing emotions feels “fake”
• My emotional range consists of numb and noodles for brains

Basically, I feel very out of it, anxious, emotionally numb and kind of confused (it’s hard to explain the feeling), and I suck at interacting with people. You’ll notice that I listed depersonalization. If you aren’t familiar with this term then let me give you a brief description of what it means. Basically, depersonalization is a mental condition that leaves you feeling very disconnected with reality, out of it, detached, as if you are experiencing out of the body in some ways, like everything around you is different, like you aren’t real, and like you are in a dream state. When you experience depersonalization your reality changes in a way that leaves you feeling “weird”. It’s a bit difficult to explain and something I’ll definitely be covering in future posts as well as writing content pages for, but basically it’s a mental state that makes you experience thing much differently and makes you uncomfortable. It’s like taking a drug without actually taking a drug.

So yeah, this is what I experience when I become over stimulated. If there is anyone out there reading this post right now, I’d definitely like to hear your feedback as to what you feel like during these situations. I’m pretty sure this is rather common among those with anxiety but who knows, maybe I’m a one of a kind freak.

More Depressed Today – Bad Weather? Cold? Random?

The second half of today had me feeling more depressed than usual. A lot more depressed than usual actually because my depression has been really good for quite some time. Anyhow, I had an afternoon class to go to and I was already feeling pretty tired and generally annoyed because I didn’t want to go tot his class. I was a little uncomfortable during the class but the main event kicked in after class. As I was sitting there smoking a cigarette, I began to dwell on the fact that I have a limited group of friends that I hang out with and that I’ve lacked any real relationship with a girl for a long time. My thought process really started to head on a downward path as I began to think about how lonely I was and how badly I wanted to meet new people but couldn’t. I also was stuck mentally on the fact that most of my closer friends are 2 years younger than me. I don’t know why, but I always find myself beating  myself up about this. I think that it is pathetic or that it isn’t normal and it leaves me feeling ashamed in a way.

When I think about things more rationally right now I realize that I don’t have it too bad socially. Yes, I would like to meet new people and make more closer friends and yes I desperately want a girlfriend. But at the same time, I’m not spending all of time outside of forced social activities all alone as I was just a year or so back. So in reality, I guess I don’t have it too bad. But damn, when I start to get into a depressed mood I really start to get into a depressed mood. It’s a mental downward spiral for me. I’m not sure as to what caused me to think this way. Maybe it was the bad weather getting to me or maybe it was just my own doing. Anyhow, all I know is that being depressed and constantly thinking negatively about yourself is definitely no good.

Alright, I’m done. If anyone read this or skimmed it then please go ahead and comment. Don’t be shy. Say anything, anything at all!

One a more serious note but a note that still doesn’t apply to the actual content of this post, if you click the image you will be taken to the Flickr page of the person responsible for this photo. In addition to including photos, I’d also like to link the images back to the creator as a way of giving credit and allowing visitors to see more from that photographer if they really like the photo.

So, it is now time for me to bring myself to writing the content of this post. Here is what I’m thinking right now as far as what I’d like to include in this post – I’d like to talk about my recent experiences with social anxiety, general anxiety, my deep thinking habits and introversion, and what I’ll be posting/adding to this site in the future. I’m going to tell you right now, this post is going to be pretty damn long if I actually follow through with what I’d like to include. Most of my content on this site is pretty damn long so it really isn’t anything too surprising, it’s just that this one may be a tad longer than my usual long posts. The reason for this is because I’ve had some interesting experiences over the last week or so and have really wanted to write more here but I just haven’t gotten around to doing it until now. I’ve had absolutely nothing to eat yet so I’ll be taking care of that before getting to the core of this post…not that it means anything to you, the reader, however.

Social Anxiety As Of Late

The one thing that I constantly need to remind myself of is that I’ve made a whole lot of progress over the past 2 years or so in terms of my social anxiety, anxiety, and depression. But let’s keep things to social anxiety because that is what this section is about. I’ve always been reserved and quiet around people for as long as I can remember. I was never an outgoing person because that just wasn’t me. This is how I was as I progressed through the many years of my schooling. Basically, I am introverted and have always been introverted. What this means is that I’ve always felt some sort of level of discomfort around groups of people I don’t know too well and as a result have kept to myself for the most part in these types of situations. I do think that I’ve always felt at least a little nervous in social situations such as school where there are a lot of people I don’t know, but I don’t think that I’ve always had social anxiety.

I think that I was already predisposed to being socially nervous as an introvert and that when 10th grade rolled around, and everything went downhill, social anxiety kicked in. I have just realized that I am describing the history of my social anxiety and my “story” which isn’t what I’d like to write about in this post as I could go on and on. I will, however, be dedicating a post/page to my “story” because I think it is very important in terms of making me relatable to those suffering from anxiety, depression, social anxiety, or any mental illness/condition for that matter. Back to reality! So, as of late my social anxiety has been pretty well tamed. It isn’t totally gone but it also isn’t a huge issue.

I guess you could say that I have an odd case of social anxiety and a case (as of this point) that is very mild. For the most part, I am able to hold conversations with random people if need be and can interact with them. But, I usually don’t feel comfortable in a classroom setting with a lot of people I don’t know very well or at all, I sometimes get very tense and “awkward” during 1 on 1 conversations, I sometimes feel judged when in public situations with a larger amount of people, I usually hate being the center of attention of a larger group and feel very uncomfortable, and some people such as attractive girls make me more uncomfortable than others. I mean, there is a lot there in terms of my social anxiety “symptoms” but like I said, I experience these things on a much more milder level than I used to. I used to literally be paralyzed by social situations and experience ridiculous levels of physical and mental stress/discomfort.

This is basically where I am at social anxiety wise – I’d like to become a lot more social and break out of my “shell” but at the same time I’ve actually made a lot of progress socially recently and am experiencing a mild case of social anxiety. And as far as breaking out of my social “shell”, I realize in a way that this is breaking who I am. I mean, I am different from most people as an introvert and I do think differently than the majority of “normal” people, but this is also who I am. I’ve already made some nice progress recently and I think that if I continue in this way and work with who I am, I can make even bigger steps.

My Not So General Anxiety

Damn am I bad when it comes to getting sidetracked by the internet! Oh, I’ll just do a quick search and…oh, that looks interesting. The cycle never ends! Anyhow, about my not so general anxiety. I think in my last post I was talking about how I was continuously experiencing butterflies in my stomach. Well, the butterflies have now left the stomach as I am not dealing with this problem anymore. I honestly couldn’t tell you what it was and it really was a bizarre experience. It’s funny because it’s one of those things that when you think about it, it happens. Like at this very moment, I experienced butterflies in my stomach. Another example would be me telling you that you are now thinking about blinking. If you just read that then you are self aware of your blinking which just messed everything up. Your welcome!

So, what is there to talk about when it comes to my general anxiety? I’m drawing a blank here which either means that things have been good or that I am going numb in the brain. I think I’ll go with the good and save the numbing for when I’m older, a lot older. On a serious notepad though, things actually have been good anxiety wise. My anxiety has been quite “normal” and calm. I still get very stressed about somethings and mentally kill myself by thinking about things I have to do over and over, but other than that things haven’t been all too bad.

Introversion And Deep Thinking

One thing that has been changing lately is my thoughts. As an introvert, I have always been a deep thinker and always find myself in thought. But lately, things have been different in a way. It’s a little hard to explain as to what exactly I’ve been feeling but overall I’ve become more self aware of where I am at as a person as well as where I stand in life. Sometimes thinking too much and thinking deeply is a bad thing especially for an introvert who suffers from anxiety, depression, or any other mental illness, but this has been a good type of deep thinking and analysis for me. I’ve never been one to gloat or even pat myself on the back in my thoughts. Instead, I usually find a way to tell myself “not good enough”. However, for the first time in a while this type of thinking has left me feeling empowered.

When I sit back and reflect on my thoughts as far as where I am at as an individual, where I am headed, and the progress I have made internally (anxiety, social anxiety, depression)…well…it is a pretty good feeling. I realize that I am an individual and that I should accept me for me as well as be happy with me. Like I said, I really don’t have moments like this very often which is why I am trying my hardest to hold on to it and to use it as a source of motivation in order to keep progressing as a person.

Future Posts

As far as future content and posts for this site/blog goes, I’d like to work on bringing new topics to the table and turning my past experiences into helpful content. I still haven’t gotten around to starting the informational side of this website so I’ll need to get on researching topics and writing content ASAP. I’d also like to do more in terms of bringing fresh topics to this blog such as depersonalization. Lastly, I’ve really been thinking about dedicating a series of posts to helping others dealing with anxiety, depression, social anxiety, and other illnesses/problems I have faced in the past. Anyhow, I really do appreciate it if you’ve taken the time to read this and I think that I will now put an end to this ginormous post.

I pushed myself to write this post and this was probably more work than writing this post will be. Honestly, writing a post on this blog is hardly work at all and it would be pretty ridiculous to consider it such. But the thing is that it requires effort on my part. Not so much work, just a fair amount of effort. I don’t think the two are quite the same thing.

I’d like to think that I know myself fairly well and I know that for me, bringing myself to do something is probably the hardest part of procrastination. I guess you could say that this is something that just about everyone is aware of when it comes to procrastination but I think that it is still a rather profound concept. I mean, the realization of this is what got me to start writing this very post. It isn’t that I haven’t realized this fact before, it’s just that realizing it in the moment helped me out tremendously with actually overcoming procrastination. I think that my main problem with procrastination is that I get caught up in negative emotions and the smaller details of things. It’s a combination of the fact that I a very sensitive emotion wise and to the world around me, I think a whole lot, I am very cynical at times, I lack confidence, and some other things I can’t come to think of right now. These are the collective traits that help to make me one of the worst procrastinators on planet Earth. That’s an exaggeration but I actually think I may be up there on the list of the very best chronic procrastinators. Man, the possibilities of having a job where all you do is procrastinate.

Yeah, so my relationship with procrastination is a very strong one. Whenever I think about having to get work done or do any type of task that requires a higher level of mental effort or anything I find generally unenjoyable, my elite procrastination skills start to kick in. A surge of negative emotions flows all around my body as a result of thinking about whatever it is I don’t want to do. I automatically begin to see whatever it is I don’t want to do in a negative light and I don’t stop seeing it that way. The thing is, I make the task out to be way worse than it actually is for the most part and I know I do this. For instance, right now I know that writing this post and forcing myself to express my thoughts really isn’t all that bad and even enjoyable. It’s nice to have a creative vice and I am actually all about creativity and expression. But when I first think about writing a post here I tell myself that I don’t have anything interesting to say, or that people won’t like what I have to say, or that it isn’t worth doing at the time. Deep down, the thought of fleshing this blog out, expressing myself through writing, potentially connecting with interested readers, getting a substantial amount of traffic in the long run, and creating an informational resource is very exciting to me. This blog really is an extension of me and this site as a whole is mine. In my mind, that’s pretty damn cool.

But like I said, my negativity and self doubt gets the best of me and this is what causes my procrastination. And this is for something that I actually enjoy! So, you can imagine the mental wall I face when it is something that I absolutely despise. It’s a god damn reinforced brick wall, that’s what it is! Once again though, when I actually start to do whatever it is I’ve been procrastinating, it isn’t all that bad. Sure, it might be annoying as hell sometimes but all in all I am able to get into whatever I am doing and commit to it. Dealing with my procrastination is something I’d definitely like to improve upon as I progress with this blog and I’d also really like to document it here as well.

Butterflies In The Stomach

I’ve been experiencing something rather strange for the past 2 weeks or so. I didn’t mention it to my therapist the last time I saw her because I don’t see it as a huge ordeal…yet. We did talk about my increased anxiety, though, and how I’ve been more consciously aware of it and dealing with it. The strange thing I’m talking about is butterflies in my stomach. I’ve been getting them a lot. It’s at the point where it is annoying and it’s keeping me awake when I try to sleep sometimes. The strange thing about this is that I’m experiencing it at random. Yes, I have been feeling increased levels of anxiety overall (actually, it might be a little better recently) but these sensations aren’t related to my anxiety most of the time. I am sitting here right now and getting butterflies as we speak on and off. And the thing is, I’m not even thinking about something that makes me anxious. This is what confuses me. I usually experience this sensation when I think about something that makes me anxious or during a situation that makes me nervous or uncomfortable. I really don’t know what to think of it. Is it my sub-conscious mind anxiety ridden? Is it hormones? I don’t know! And this bugs the hell out of me. I’m definitely going to cover this in future posts because it is genuinely bothering me. For now though, I think I’ll end things here.

The way I experience stress is through both mental and physical side effects. In my mind, I only think about worrying. All of my thinking power is focused towards worrying about a certain even, anticipating that even, and thinking of a hundred different ways that even can go wrong. I might have a small break of clarity but I’ll soon return to my pain inflicting thought process. A thought process that puts me inside my head, makes me feel disconnected, and wears me down. On the physical side of things, I get intense sensations in my stomach. These are probably what you would call “butterflies in your stomach”. The thing is that these “butterflies” are extremely irritating which cause me to feel very uneasy, and seem to come in waves. This means that I am constantly experiencing this unpleasant feeling as my anxieties kick in. And to make matters worse, these feelings make me even more aware of my anxiety which in turn make me more anxious. I’ll tell you, anxiety is one of the most vicious cycles around. I also get very clammy hands and I can feel my chest on edge as a result of my heart pounding. This whole package makes for a very exciting ride if exciting ride were to mean a shitty experience.

Like I said, none of this is good for my mind and body. I know this for a fact. I don’t need to do any research in order to clarify this as I have already read about the subject in the past and it is something that seems logical to me. This is why it is very important to me that I make a mental and physical effort towards coping with this anxiety. And I have. The thing is that while I’ve recently dealt with an abnormal amount of anxiety and stress, I’ve also been more consciously aware of it and how to deal with it. I’ve been making it a point to talk myself down during times of anxiety and to help myself through the situation in a more calm and logical manner. This will take a huge amount of effort on my part to get things totally under control but I think I can do it.

A large portion of my anxieties are social anxieties. And this probably explains why I have been experiencing increased levels of anxiety in general. You see, I am now attending a local college. Classrooms filled with students are a part of college. Socially, I don’t do very well in a classroom setting. I find it very hard to meet people in this setting, interact with others comfortably, and I feel very on edge. As a result, I am usually experience high levels of anxiety. I’ll talk about this more in depth in another post but for now I’d like to move on the next topic of discussion, loneliness. If I were doing things “properly” I might do OCD next but then again, I don’t do things properly.

Since I’ve started at this local college I’ve become very aware of my lacking ability to meet new people, and more importantly girls. I do have friends, I am far from a hermit, and I even have a few close friends. It isn’t a very large group of friends that I have but I am far from a social retard. My problem is that I have a hard time meeting people “cold”. I’d love to talk to new people and meet new people in my classes, it’s just that it isn’t practical for me. I don’t know, I just don’t see how I can form a relationship with someone if all we are doing is listening. I don’t have the confidence to approach someone on my own in most cases and I find doing so very weird. Actually, I think in my head that the person will think I am strange. And on top of that, I honestly don’t know what I would say to make the situation “normal”. The perfect scenario for me meeting new people is being introduced to new people through people I know and then hanging out with them. The thing is, I need to be making new connections if I want this to happen. And there lies my internal dilemma. All in all though, my loneliness is primarily about me wanting a relationship with a girl. This is where I truly lack. I am very bad at meeting new girls and I have virtually no friends that are girls. It isn’t all about my “sexual” needs either. I honestly want a relationship. A relationship with a girl that I find attractive and can genuinely connect with. I really do think that this would do a whole lot for my character and confidence as a whole which is another reason I want it so badly.

The worst part about it all is that I know that I could be a “good” boyfriend. I know I have a lot to offer. I know that I could truly open up to a girl and show her that I care for her. I know these things and yet I can do nothing about them. And this hurts, it really does. When I realize that it is only me that is holding me back and that guys all around me are accomplishing this, my self confidence only lowers. Pathetic, right? Another thing that sucks is that I could never express this to anyone. I’d be way too embarrassed. But then again, a fear of embarrassment is one of the roots of my internal struggle. Alright, this post is already very long and I’m beginning to ramble or maybe it just seems that way since this post is so long. Anyhow, it’s time for me to discuss that last topic of the title…actually it’s in the middle.

I believe I might have OCD. Actually, I don’t really think I have OCD but rather OCD like symptoms. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. But I’m not a perfectionist in the normal sense of things. I’m a weird perfectionist. In order for me to tackle an obstacle or a task, I need things to feel “just right”. As a result of this, I usually don’t end up doing that task or facing that obstacle if I don’t feel things are “just right”. Another bizarre way of thinking I practice is that I continue to deal with something or not doing something even though I am unhappy and feel that a necessary action should take place. This is more of a procrastination but as with my OCDness, it is a bit different than normal. It is a way of thinking that inflicts pain on myself internally. Basically, it’s a self hurting thought process. These are two things that I’d really like to deal with and take care of because they are seriously hindering me as a whole. I’ll definitely be going into this issue of mind more in depth over time but since my fingers are starting to hurt, I think I’m going to end this post here (by here I mean right below).

As always, writing this post up made me feel much better in many ways. Forcing busy thinking out of your head is always nice. Anyhow, I don’t think anyone read this but if you have, thank you very much. Also, be sure to check back here for more posts and even informational articles as I begin to work on that part of this website.

The reason I am doing this is because I like the idea of having both a section where I can express myself and interact with readers (hopefully I’ll get some of those in the future) as well as a section where I can provide helpful content based upon my prior knowledge or through my own research. On the informational side of things there will not be any commenting. I see the informational articles as a more formal section. I really do like this concept and I honestly do think that I’ll stick with it.

Now that I’ve gotten the formalities out of the way I’d like to take this blog post back to expressing myself. Man, where the hell do I begin? First of all, I’d like to say that I am super secretive when it comes to this blog and what I say on this blog. It isn’t so much as holding back on expressing myself as much as it is expressing specifics that could be traced back to me. The name of the game is paranoia. This blog has no readership whatsoever and hardly any traffic at all and I am already concerned with being found out. The thing is that I just want to remain anonymous and having my real identity revealed seems like it would be absolutely terrible. I don’t know, it’s probably me over worrying as usual. That’s my anxiety for you. When I look past the binds of anxiety I do realize that someone would truly want to know who I am in order to find me out. The only way for someone to do that would be to piece together bits and pieces of what I say here in terms of specific things I talk about. Like I said, this is what I’ve held back on. But then I really start to think about the plausibility of someone taking the time to find out who I am I realize that it isn’t very plausible at all. My biggest fear is someone who I know finding this blog and the chances of that are even slimmer. I’m just a very private person as far as my depression and anxiety experience goes. I’m also a private person in general.

Well, I have something that I need to do school related so I think I’ll cut this post short. It did feel pretty good to just write. Damn my strange ways of thinking and damn my procrastination (more on that in a later post)! Anyhow, I’m glad that I finally got around to posting here. I have a good feeling about this website and I really do think I can make it a success (gaining a readership, helping others, driving traffic). That is all I have to say.

Believe me when I say that I know exactly what it feels like to be completely unmotivated and unwilling to get anything done. I am FAR from perfect when it comes to getting myself motivated to work and in the mood to get things done. With that said, I do know of a certain motivational technique that almost always does the job for me. It’s hardly groundbreaking but it is highly effective nonetheless. The technique I am referring to is thinking about the end result, that “something” that you want, whenever you aren’t feeling motivated to get anything done at work.

I am self employed so getting myself motivated to get work done is crucial. I don’t have anyone telling me what to do, I don’t have a boss, and I don’t have any source of motivation to work other than from myself. This is why staying motivated and willing to get things done is half of the battle for me. Thinking about the potential outcome of my work and visualizing what an increased amount of income can do for me as far as my lifestyle in general helps me out a lot. When I think about what that extra money can do for me and what it can help me achieve I feel pretty damn good. I close my eyes and picture myself in a situation that would only be possible by me working my ass off and I stick with that image until I feel like I am “there”. This really gets me going motivation wise. When I start to mentally “taste” what I can achieve through my work it makes me realize that while working my ass of may not be so pleasant at times, it sure as hell is worth it in the end.

So, how can you use this technique in order to increase your motivation to get work done even if you hate your job and are receiving minimal pay? Well, I am not going to lie to right now and tell you that getting motivated to do work when your work is dreadful and pays a crappy wage will be easy. If you genuinely hate your job then you are going to have to work twice as hard in order to get real work done. You are going to need to remind yourself what your job can offer to you, as crappy as it might be, in the end. You need to think, “What is this job providing for me at the end of the day?”. Maybe you won’t be able to go on a shopping spree due to your current job and maybe you won’t be able to go shopping at all, but you have to be able to SOMETHING as a result of working at your job. If you want to get motivated to work then you need to try your hardest in order to think about the good that results from working at your job and you need to focus on that good instead of letting all of the negative overwhelm you.

So you’re feeling pretty overwhelmed, huh? Don’t worry, you’re not alone! How do I know this? Well for one, I’m feeling pretty damn overwhelmed myself at the moment. And I know for a fact that you and I can’t possibly be the only ones in this world feeling overwhelmed. So there you have it, my incredibly scientific proof as to why you aren’t the only one experiencing feelings of being overwhelmed. Hopefully this realization takes at least a little bit off of your collection of worries. In all seriousness though, I’d like for this post to help you and me both work through our worries. You see, I deal with anxiety on a day to day basis (some days are good and some days…well…they suck) and while I am far from being an expert of sorts I have learned quite a lot over the past few years when it comes to coping with anxiety. As you probably already know, feeling overwhelmed is one of the many side affects of anxiety. So, whether you suffer from anxiety and deal with feelings of being overwhelmed a little too often or you’re just feeling a little more overwhelmed than normal, I think you’ll find something useful in this post. Keep on reading to find out about some useful tips and techniques I’ve picked up when it comes feeling overwhelmed.

Feeling Overwhelmed Is Never Enjoyable But It CAN Be Dealt With

Writing In Order To Deal With Feeling Overwhelmed

One of the best ways I’ve found to cope with feeling overwhelmed is to write. This is honestly why I am writing this post right now. I find that channeling my worries and feelings of being overwhelmed into writing works wonders. It really does. When I’m feeling bogged down and thinking way too much I am almost paralyzed by my own mind. If I am overwhelmed by my own thoughts and worries then I am truly overwhelmed. It consumes me in a way. I have a hard time thinking logically. I over complicate things. And above all, it keeps my from doing much of anything if I don’t deal with it. Writing is such a great way to deal with this dilemma because it allows you to literally “remove” all of that clutter. Instead of constantly thinking and thinking and thinking about what is overwhelming you, you are expressing your feelings, emotions, and worries by converting them into something much more tangible. It is much easier to deal with something you can see than it is to do everything mentally.

What exactly should you be writing in order to cope with feeling overwhelmed? You could probably see what I was getting at in the first paragraph, writing about what is making you feel overwhelmed, but this is far from the only way to do things. Writing down exactly what is draining you of energy and bogging you down is one of the more conventional ways of doing things as well as one of the most effective. Putting your worries on paper not only allows you to vent but it also allows you to see and deal with what is making you feel overwhelmed in a much more methodical way. This is really what I am doing at the moment. While I am not expressing exactly what is making feel overwhelmed (I’ll probably dedicate a post to this right after this one), I am writing about the situation.

However, as I said before writing about your actual feelings of being overwhelmed and what is making you feel that way is not the only way to cope through writing. In my opinion, writing in just about any form is an excellent way to deal with your worries and healthy for the mind in general. This is one of the main reasons as to why I created this website, AnxietyDepressionAndI.com. Writing in any form is a creative outlet which is a good thing no matter how you go about looking at it. So do yourself a favor and make it a habit to write even when you aren’t feeling overwhelmed. I think you’ll find it to be one of the best activities when it comes to coping with just about any problem including dealing with feelings of being overwhelmed.

Talk That Shit Out When Feeling Overwhelmed

I can’t speak for you but I am the worst when it comes to bottling up my emotions and problems. It is just in my nature. With that said, I know and appreciate the power of talking when it comes to dealing with issues and emotions. Talking about being overwhelmed with someone else is very similar to writing in that it allows you to express and vent your feelings but it also has something that writing will never be able to give to you and that is feedback. Talking with someone allows you to share with them, to connect with them, and most importantly hear what they have to say. Hearing what someone else has to say about your situation whenever you are feeling overwhelmed is priceless. This alone could very well get you back on your feet and clear your head up. Believe me, I know the power of talking it out when it comes to problems and emotions, including feeling overwhelmed, all too well.

The thing with talking in order to deal with feeling overwhelmed, though, is that you really need to be talking with someone who you are close too. For me, it’s my Mom. I mean, I do have some very close friends who I talk about “real” stuff with but when it comes to talking about the realest of the real I always go to my Mom. With my Mom I am comfortable talking about pretty much anything and anything we do talk about is in the form of a meaningful discussion. So, if you are going to talk to someone about feeling overwhelmed then you really want to make sure it is someone you are VERY close to. You really want to have that aspect of hearing feedback from the other person and relating to them because in my opinion that is what it is all about.

Exercising When Feeling Overwhelmed…Yup, Another Good Thing To Do

Any form of exercise is a very productive and healthy way to deal with feelings of being overwhelmed. My two main ways of dealing with feeling overwhelmed are writing and talking. Actually, I lied. For some odd reason I just forgot that I do lift regularly. Anyhow, yes, exercising is something you should definitely be doing when feeling overwhelmed. I doesn’t even have to be an intense workout or anything. It could be something as easy going as walking. You see, exercising is a great way to deal with feeling overwhelmed for two reasons:

1) You could potentially feel a natural high after exercising due to chemical release in the body and if you don’t you’ll at least feel relaxed afterwords.

2) The actual act of exercising is a soothing one. For example, the repetitive nature of walking.

It’s hard for me to elaborate on this fact just because it is so damn obvious. I mean, exercising is good in pretty much every way so it’s pretty much a given in terms of dealing with feeling overwhelmed. All that I will add is that lifting regularly has definitely helped me in many ways when it comes to anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, etc.. Be sure to at least give it a try the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed.

You Now Know What Helps When Feeling Overwhelmed. Here Is What You Shouldn’t Do When You Feel Overwhelmed

Alright, so I think I did a pretty good job of giving you some ideas when it comes to dealing with feeling overwhelmed. The three techniques I went over above really do work extremely well for me so I hope they do the same for you. Now it’s time to tell you what NOT to do. I was contemplating as to whether or not I would include this short section at the end and then I decided that it was a must. I would just hate to see anyone who comes across this post to spiral downwards and escalate their feelings of being overwhelmed into something much, much worse. Maybe I’m being overly worried but it’s just that I know what can happen when you don’t deal with emotions properly. This isn’t me spewing some bullshit to you. This is me being real. I know how things can escalate because I’ve dealt with it first hand. This isn’t what I’d like to talk about right now, though. Look below to find out what you shouldn’t do when feeling overwhelmed.

Feeling Overwhelmed? Do NOT Ignore The Issue And Keep Things To Yourself.

If you are feeling overwhelmed then one thing you do NOT want to do under any circumstances is to ignore the issue completely and keep it entirely internal. Believe me when I say it just won’t work. The truth of the matter is that when you keep such a strong emotion such as feeling overwhelmed under wraps and try to “put it to the side” you’re setting yourself up for failure. And in this case failure means hurting your mental health. When you ignore your feelings and keep things on the inside all of the time you are only making things worse and hurting yourself in the end.

Do NOT Cope With Drugs When Feeling Overwhelmed

When I refer to drugs I am talking about something that is taken without a prescription and one that is mind altering. If you want to have a cig at the time of feeling extremely stressed out, then fine go ahead and do it. I myself smoke tobacco and I know just how good a cig can be when feeling stressed. This isn’t the type of drug I am referring to though. I am talking about marijuana, alcohol, pills, and so on. I’ll be honest with you, I am a recreational user of marijuana. I do smoke bud. However, I do NOT smoke bud as a way of dealing with my emotional problems and escaping my emotional problems. Killing a 6 pack by yourself or smoking a blunt is not the way to go when it comes to dealing with very serious emotions.

Still Feeling Overwhelmed?

Well, that about wraps up this post. I hope that if you came here looking for some guidance as a result of feeling overwhelmed that you got some. Yeah, I know. These last few sentences probably came across as a little dry. I’ll be honest, I started to get a little edgy by the end of this long ass post. Hopefully it did more good for me than harm (only kidding)! Anyhow, I really do hope you got something from this post and I wish you good luck on dealing with feeling overwhelmed in the future.

Well, I haven’t really gotten much done today so I’d thought I’d login and do an anxiety related write up for this ever evolving blog. I’m saying it right now, I will be sticking to my word in terms of regularly posting content to this blog. I’ve already published 2 pieces of content over the past 3 days and while this really doesn’t prove anything yet as far as my dedication to AnxietyDepressionAndI.com, my mentality remains the same. I am sick of procrastinating. I am sick of thinking “what if”. And lastly, I want this site to grow into somewhat of a beast over this next year. I know I can make it happen and so I am going to make it happen. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t easy to push myself to write on this blog. I do it nonetheless. I give myself no other options. You see, I’ve realized that my main problems when it comes to getting things done is over analyzing the situation and trying to perfect what I will be doing. I honestly think that biggest problem when it comes to me not being able to come up with content to write is that I actually have too much to write about.

However, I’ve just realized that I’ve begun to ramble. This is a good thing for my writing but it isn’t a good thing for this particular post. This post, “Anxiety Is Still Very Much There”, has a topic. And this topic is talking about where I currently am when it comes to my anxiety. There are a few reasons why I chose this topic. The first is because I still haven’t used the Anxiety category for my content on this blog. The second is because I’ve ignored the subject of anxiety up until now even though I have a lot to offer in this area. There isn’t a third reason. I tried to think of one on the spot but that’s when I realized that no such reason existed. Actually, now that I’ve given it some more thought there is a potential reason for writing this anxiety related post. This potential reason is because I potentially want to release all of my feelings related to anxiety. After all, venting and gaining a new creative outlet is one of the main reasons why I created this site.

Where was I? Oh yeah, going over my current state of anxiety. As the title of this post insinuates (that really is a damn cool word, a damn cool word I hope fits in this context), anxiety is still a part of my life. I still experience anxiety from a day to day basis. I would still call it a flaw of mine. Basically, anxiety is still very much there. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve come along way in terms of dealing with my anxiety and how much of a problem it is for me. It is still there though. This is the way I look at it at this point; it isn’t a big enough problem in order to interrupt my daily life but it also isn’t a small enough problem in order for me to consider it nonexistent.

You see, when my anxiety was at its prime it was very much an interruption as well as a truly agonizing pain for me. My social anxiety was at the point where I would literally experience physical side effects. I can always appreciate where I am at as a person dealing with anxiety when I think back to when I could rarely make eye contact during a conversation as a result of uncontrollable “shaking” of my head. I was never called out for it but at the time I thought that everyone would potentially notice it if I didn’t keep it on the extreme down low. God damn were those times bad now that I write and think about it. I’ll definitely be writing about these experiences in more detail as time goes on. As I mentioned before, I have a lot to offer when it comes to anxiety simply because I genuinely did go through Hell and back when my anxieties were at there worst. And I think that there are tons of people that can relate to my experiences which is exactly why I now have the mentality that I am going to write A TON of content for this site no matter what it is. If I can reach out to just 1 person with just 1 article of mine out of hundreds, then I have done a lot more than just sitting back and waiting for the perfect piece of content to write or coming up with the perfect idea or whatever else I do in order to procrastinate. Fuck you procrastination, fuck you! I just had to get that one out.

Anyhow yes, my anxiety used to be paralyzing. It isn’t at that point anymore but it is still a pretty big factor as far as who I am. I still get worried about new social situations and think and think and think about them until I worry and worry and worry some more. I still catch myself thinking too much about what others think about me. I still get extremely worked up when I have to do any form of public speaking even if it is as stupid as introducing myself in front of a new class (damn do I need to write about this topic because this used to be a MAJOR problem for me). All in all, I still deal with anxiety on a day to day basis. But you want to know something? I think I am okay with that. Why? Because over these past few years I really have made a lot of progress in terms of coping with my depression and anxiety. Dealing with these 2 illnesses really have changed me for the better and while I am still not at the point where I would like to be, I’m getting there. That’s the thing about anxiety as well as many other mental illnesses. You really can’t “eliminate” them, you can only learn to deal with them and improve your ability to deal with them. Alright then, I think I’ll wrap this bad boy up. I will say this, I actually did enjoy writing this one. Hopefully this says something about where this blog is headed…