Today Is The Most Depressed I’ve Felt In A Very Long Time
Today was pretty rough to say the least. Today was an emotional roller coaster. I had no feelings of depression at the start of the day but I was already feeling overly stressed and anxious. The reason why I was already feeling the effects of stress and anxiety early on during the day is because of a variety of different factors. There is something I need to do tomorrow which I have put off for a very long time, I am going to NYC for the first time on Friday, there is a lot of work that needs to be done, there are more than a few “business” dilemmas I need to deal with…seriously, I could go on and on. For a person who struggles when it comes to handling stress and anxiety, having all of this “stuff” going on is not good…at all.
And guess what? Things only continued to get worse. The arrival of my Mom was the literal arrival of my intense depression episode. It was just 5 minutes after she walked through the door when a heated verbal argument between her and I begun. Actually, it wasn’t much of an argument at all. It was a verbal assault and I was the victim. Some of the highlights of this assault included her telling me I was “fucking inconsiderate” (these were her exact words and I quote them because I hate it when my Mom curses for some reason), lazy, not able to do something I had already planned on doing, disregard my age, and many other colorful insults. And luckily for me, I took just about everything she said personally. At the time of the “argument” I truly did act maturely. I refrained from totally disregarding what she had to say, cursing, insulting her, or even overly yelling. I honestly gave my best shot at turning her emotional outburst into a constructive conversation but she wouldn’t have it. After a few minutes I gave up and went to my room where I began to feel worthless for the next hour and a half or so.
She had done an excellent job of making me feel like shit as well as having me over-analyze my every flaw. I was already feeling terrible on my way to my room but just as I sat in the very chair I’m sitting in right now, the depression kicked in. You see, I haven’t felt the worst of my depression in a long time. It didn’t matter though. The feeling was all too familiar as I became consumed by it. This is what the experience of “feeling depressed” is like for me. I can literally feel it come over me. It’s like this blanket that suppresses my mind and body further and further down a deep, dark hole.
As I sat there in my chair I began to think about all of the insults my Mom had used and I began to side with every single one of them. At the time, just about everything seemed unappealing. Everything around me was just there and nothing more. That’s another symptom of depression which is always there for me. I see everything differently. Everything is bland to put it simply. All I did was sit there with a blank stare. I became more and more depressed in my thoughts and the feelings of overwhelming sadness, worthlessness, and pity became more and more intense. I was “there” again and it was God damn terrible. I remember thinking that this severe feeling of depression was here to stay and I kept on thinking about chronic depression days.
When I sit here and write about my day today I am very thankful. I am thankful that I no longer suffer from this severe of depression day in and day out.
U.S. Spending on Mental Health Care Soaring
This is a very interesting article I’ve just come across pertaining to mental health. As the title of this post suggests, this article discusses the U.S.’s spending on mental health care. Check it out directly below this sentence.
WEDNESDAY, Aug. 5 (HealthDay News) — U.S. spending on mental illness is soaring at a faster pace than spending on any other health care category, new government data released Wednesday shows.
The cost of treating mental disorders rose sharply between 1996 and 2006, from $35 billion (in 2006 dollars) to almost $58 billion, according to the report from the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
At the same time, the report showed, the number of Americans who sought treatment for depression, bipolar disorder and other mental health woes almost doubled, from 19 million to 36 million.
The new statistics come on the heels of a study, released Monday, that found antidepressant use among U.S. residents almost doubled between a similar time frame, 1996 and 2005.
Spending on mental illness showed a faster rate of growth over the 10-year period analyzed than costs for heart disease, cancer, trauma-linked disorders, and asthma.
According to the report, spending on heart disease rose from $72 billion in 1996 to $78 billion in 2006; cancer care rose from $47 billion to $58 billion; asthma costs climbed from $36 billion to $51 billion, and expenditures for trauma-related care rose from $46 billion to $68 billion.
In terms of per-patient costs, cancer led the way at $5,178 in 2006 (up slightly from $5,067 in 1996), while costs for trauma care and asthma rose sharply — from $1,220 to $1,953 and from $863 to $1,059, respectively.
On the other hand, average per-patient spending for heart conditions fell, from $4,333 to $3,964. And spending on mental disorders declined from $1,825 to $1,591.
In the Monday study, published in the Archives of General Psychiatry, researchers reported that 10.12 percent of U.S. residents aged 6 and over, or 27 million people, were using antidepressants in 2005, compared to 5.84 percent, or 13.3 million people, in 1996.
The increase seemed to span virtually all demographic groups.
“This is a 20-year trend and it’s very powerful,” remarked Dr. Eric Caine, chair of the department of psychiatry and co-director of the Center for the Study of Prevention of Suicide at the University of Rochester Medical Center.
While I think it is great that the U.S. has been increasing spending for mental health care, I’m not sure how I feel about what exactly the U.S. is spending it on. The article states that the cost of mental health care has risen greatly and that more money is being spent on mental health care, but it also states that the number of people on anti-depressants has risen greatly as well. In fact, the number of people on anti-depressants has just about doubled!
Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that in some cases medication can help with mental illness (after all, I did take Zoloft myself). However, the fact that the number of people on anti-depressants has just about doubled worries me. I am worried that prescription medication is being pushed upon people with mental illnesses who don’t really need it. Anyhow, I don’t want to ramble on too much. Be sure to post a comment of what you think about this particular article.
Source: empowher
A Simple Way To Get Motivated And Start A Routine
What do you know? I’ve been slacking yet again. Yep, I’ll admit it. I’ve been pretty damn lazy as of late. For the past few weeks I’ve found it extremely hard to get motivated and start a work routine for myself. And as a result of this, I haven’t gotten any work done and I’ve spent the majority of my time doing “leisurely” activities. However, during this time I have picked up at least one useful technique. It is a technique that can be used to get yourself motivated and start a routine. Pretty exciting, right? Let me explain this technique for getting motivated and getting “stuff” done on a regular basis in greater detail so that you can get a better idea of what it is all about…
First of all, I want to make it clear that I am most likely not the creator of this productivity booster. I say most likely because while I haven’t seen this method discussed anywhere else, I am sure that others are aware of it. Anyhow, the goal of this technique is to get yourself motivated to do “more” and to do “more” on a regular basis. You see, there are many things that we should be doing on a regular basis that we never get around to doing due to procrastination, lack of motivation, bad time management, etc. And this is exactly what this method of boosting motivation and productivity can be used for.
This is the perfect technique for not only motivating yourself to do something but also doing that something regularly…even if you hate the idea of doing it.
Do More Of This And You Can Do More Of That
The concept behind this technique is simple; start a new routine of something you enjoy in order to start a routine of something you don’t enjoy doing. Basically, by starting a regular routine it will become easier for you to start an entirely new routine. Those last two sentences weren’t too convincing so I’ll explain my unique case to you. Keep in mind that while this technique for getting motivated and getting things done has worked extremely well for me, I cannot guarantee it will work for you. I understand that this can be said for just about any personal development technique out there but I just felt the need to get this across to you after the boring start to this paragraph.
Anyway, here’s how it went for me. As I mentioned before, I’ve been pretty lazy and unmotivated for the past few weeks when it comes to getting work done. I have found it very hard to do just about anything related to the work I do (including writing content for this blog). The thing that changed everything for me was something my Dad said to me. He said something that was meant to be a joke, but as with anything directed towards me I took it way too personally. The comment was about the current shape of my body and it got to me. What did I do? I decided it was time to start working out again (something else I had been putting off). However, I didn’t start working out on my own. Luckily, my buddy had been interested in working out and somehow the topic of him and I working out together every other day came up. This was the perfect opportunity for me. It forced me to keep to a workout schedule and it allowed me to enjoy the experience more by having a friend there with me.
I’ve been working out regularly ever since. Now, I haven’t been working out for a very long time on this routine but it has spawned a wealth of new benefits including more motivation to tackle other responsibilities and start new routines based around those responsibilities. It is hard to express the feeling in words and I realize that my success with this technique may not make complete sense, but I am still sure of one thing…it worked.
Once I began to start a routine that directly impacted my health and well being I wanted more. Starting a new work routine and earning more money only seemed natural to me.
